!!!!!!!!...............

Junior went to daddy after school and asked "daddy,do u know Washington DC? Daddy replied "thats the capital of United States Of America,that where i attended high school.Junior asked again "do you know New York" Daddy replied " i got my first degree in New York" Junior asked again " so how about London?"
Daddy replied i was in London for my 43rd birthday.Junior said again "daddy,then you must know Geography so well oo..!
Daddy replied "You know,geography was where i married your mother.
Junior: !!!!!!!!

NEW BOOK ON HOW TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN

SAGGING

If U Don't Laugh Go and See Doctor

A pastors was praying for a man possessed with demon,He said in the name of Jesus,what do you want from this man,speak up before i cast you out this moment."The demon answerd: I want him to win the America lotto draw worth $ 400 million tonight.The pastor lowers the microphone and whispered: Get out of him and enter into me.

Evolution Of Dance

wicked man

Teen Fact

Suzie Vs John

Suzie: Nice phone baby,where did you buy it?
John:  I won it in a running race.
Suzie: How many people participated?
John:  It was the MOBILE OWNER,POLICE and ME

Teacher and John

Teacher: 2 books + 2 books?
John     : 4 books
Teacher: good,now i'll ask you a tough one
1,713+3,571 books..?
JOhn : LIBRARY

Father Vs John

Father: why did your grammar teacher slap you?
John:   because i asked her,why is bra singular when it covers 2 items and panties plural when it covers just one

JUST KIDDING

MY CAR

JONATHAN AND PATIENCE

jonathan: I wonder what's going on next door.
Patience: It's a birthday party!
Jonathan: Whose birthday party is it?
Patience: I'm sure it's Tuyu's birthday.
Jonathan: How did you know?
Patience: I heard them singing ''Happy Birthday Tuyu!!! Happy Birthday Tuyu!!!

U SAVED ME

A man calls radio station n
says:'I have found a wallet
on the bus seat that I had
boarded on my way home.It
contained $. 1,000,and a.t.m
card n a gold chain...the owner I.d
card read Frank John.
The radio presenter says:So do
u want to return it to him?
The man says:~HELL No!! R u
mad??I just wanted to dedicate
him a song "U saved me ya R.kelly

DAN AND THE SPELLING BOOK

Dani : I spent eight hours over my new spelling book last night.

Teacher: It's wonderful that you spent so much time studying!

Dani : Who said anything about studying? My spelling book was under my pillow when I went to sleep!

A BABY WEIGHING 50 KG BORN THROUGH NORMAL DELIVERY

EXPENSIVE WEDDING OF THE YEAR:

                                          
How much do you think this wedding cost?

PAIN TRANSFER

A happily married couple(Frank and Happy) having their first baby, were
invited to make use of a new machine that would
transfer a portion of the mother's labour pains to the
Baby's biological father wherever he may be. Both were
happy to try it. The pain transfer was set to 10
percent but the husband felt nothing. So the doctor
increased it to 20 percent. The father said he still
felt fine and his blood pressure was normal. He
invited the doctor to kick it up to 50 percent. Still
there was no reaction. The doctor was amazed and
slowly transferred all the pain until the Wife
delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She
and her husband and the doctor were ecstatic. When
they got home, the gardener(John)  was lying almost dead at
the gate

VALENTINE GIFT

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams"

PASTOR

After tuesday church service, these conversation ensued between pastor and church workers
pastor:i can't blieve some pple could be so heartless as to offer fake $2000 to the lord.
Worker:it's the work of the devil pastor but where is the money?
Pastor: we just have to praise the lord because i've been able to spend it.

HAPPY and MARIE

Happy and Marie were fighting outside d examination hall people
gathered and asked what caused d rift
Happy: Marie copied me all through d exam
Marie:its a lie i didnt copy her i submitted a blank answer sheet
Happy: dats what am saying the teacher wil think dat we copied
each other.

I CAN'T LAUGH ALONE PLEASE

A man and a woman walked into a guesthouse n requested to spend d night. The owner of the guest house,Mr Collins, who is a member of Mountain of fire church, refused to allow men n women stay together in his hotel becos of fornication. d woman explained,He is my son. Not my spouse n so dey checked in. After 30mins,Mr collins sent his maid to go n check if those folks re truly mother n son.
The maid came back n said: Sir,she's truly d mother. The Boss Asked. How did u confirm. D maid. Smiled=D , Sir I am sure.
I saw her Breastfeeding the Man

GOOD REVENGE : IT'S JUST A JOKE GUYS

A black man and a white man were sitting in the park, the white man had a pet monkey and the black man is selling bananas, the black man said 'Mr. Can u look after my bananas, i'm goin to the toilet"," Yeah sure, go ahead" said the white man. When the black man came he found his bananas gone and asked "where are my bananas" the white man pointed to the monkey and said "ask ur brother" , the black man chilled and sat down. Few minutes later the white man ask "can u watch my monkey I'm going to the toilet" ,"oh yeah sure!" said the black man. When the white man came back he found his monkey dead and exclaim "what happened here?" the black replied " don't get involved pls , it's a family matter".