WHERE IS THE BUS GOING TO?

On a bus going, from Indiana to Ohio after my evening lectures the phone of a girl sitting close to me rang, she picks it and said:
"Honey, I'm in a bus going to Chicago for the burial, I will call you when I get there".

Another girl's phone rang, she said:

"Sweetheart, I'm on my way to New York for the masters degree form, please send me credit for the trip".

The other one's phone rang, she said:

"Alhaji sorry, I'm on my way to Bevery Hills for the interview, i will call you later.
 A guy who was sitting at the back of the bus suddenly raises his voice in anger:

"Driver, stop please, park this bus, where exactly is this bus going to??

BARBER SHOP....DAMN POVERTY SUCKS

COMMUNICATION BARRIERS

PASTOR: Do something crazy for
the lord.. John carried the
offering basket and ran away*

FUNNIEST VIDEO EVER

CREATIVITY

TRUE OR FALSE?

WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THIS

The lawyer hopes you get into trouble...
The Doctor hopes you fall ill...
The Police hope you become a criminal...
The teacher hopes you are born stupid...
The coffin maker wants you dead!
Only the thief and I wishes you prosperity in life!
I wish you all a lovely life.

AKPOR IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL

Akpor was in mental hospital for 7 years and wanted to get out really bad so he spent 5 months practicing to jump over the gate.The day he came for him to escape and gave goodbye to his friends and vanished (disappear).After 2 minutes he came back and his friends ask if he had forgoten something.
He said " Yes the gate was opened so i couldn't jump i will try tomorrow"

AKPOR AGAIN

Class Teacher : Differentiate between Biology and Sociology.
AKPOR:          if a new born baby looks like his father,it is 'Biology',but if he looks like his neighbour,then 'it is called sociology'

BEST DRIVING SCHOOL

!!!!

GLOBALIZATION

Q: what is globalization?
A: Princess Diana.
Q: why?
A: because an English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel while in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian, who was drunk on a Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian paparazzi, riding Japanese motorcycles, treated by American doctor, using Brazilian medicine!

CONVERSATION BETWEEN GANG AND CHURCH MEMBERS

This morning, a gang went into a church and started closing windows and doors.
They told the congregation that they were going to kill everyone but in alphabetical order. They went to the Rev.
What is your name?
Rev: Zoseph Zmith
Lucky you,
Pianist: my name is Zemanuel Zwilliams but one of the ushers over there is Abigail Ann.
You lying bastard,the usher replies. My name is Zzzabigail Zzzann. What name would u ve mentioned if u were to be around??

FUTURE IMPOSSIBLE TENSE

LITTLE JOHN GET PUNCHED

Teacher: Who is the president of
America?
Little Johnny: I don't know madam.
Teacher: You need to focus more
on your studies.
Little Johnny: Please madam, can I
ask few questions?
Teacher: Yes, go ahead.
Little Johnny: Do you know Rita?
Teacher: No.
Little johnny: Do you know Joy?
Teacher: No
Little Johnny: Do you know Kate?
Teacher (Angry): Hell no! Who are
all these people and why do you
ask?
Little Johnny: You need to focus
more on your husband!

IF THE ENGLISH PREMIERSHIP WERE A CLASSROOM

If the ENGLISH PREMIER
LEAGUE
would have been a
classroom, then:-
ARSENAL -Is a boy who
works hard
throughout the year but
fails to succeed
because of his greedy
rich family that is not
ready to spend on
buying books.
MANCHESTER CITY - Is a
boy who purchases all
the expensive books
but is never ready to
read them.
LIVERPOOL -Is a child
who is very much
proud of the academic
achievements of his
grand father.
MANCHESTER UNITED -Is
a boy who just
performs in the final
exams and tops the
class.
Finally,
CHELSEA -Is a boy who
fails to perform and
puts the blame of
failure on his teacher
and then his family
finds a new teacher
for him every year!

VOICEMAIL

Akpos walked into a post office and buys an envelope from the cashier. He opened it and started speaking in a loud voice into the envelope.
Alarmed, the cashier asked, "Why are
you speaking in the envelope?"
Akpos replied......"I am sending a
voicemail"

I CALL IT MAXIMUM CHEATING/ UNFAITHFUL

LECTURER

JOKE OF THE WEEK,NICE WEEK END...

Akpors: Girl I like your teeth!

Gal: Oh thank you *blushing*

Akpors: They remind me of a song!!

Gal: Owh really, Which song?

Akpors: Black & Yellow!!!

AKPORS AND FIANCEE

Girl: If we get married, stop smoking.
Akpors: Ok!
Girl: Drinking too.
Akpors: Ok!
Girl: N going to the night club too.
Akpors:- Yes. Girl:-You stop watchin soccer matches with yo boyz
Akpors: Okay!
Girl:- What else can u leave??
Akpors:- The idea of marrying You

FACEBOOK CONVERSATION BETWEEN A TEENAGER AND A STRANGER

A Teenage Girl was chatting onFB with a stranger
.
.Stranger: hey pretty! Could you give me ur mail id?
.
.Gal: oh yes sure its --> ihaveaboyfriend _andilovehimalot @getlost.com
.
.Stranger: and mine is -->iamyourfather_andyouaredead@meetmenow.com

JOY

Johnny has a wife whose name is Joy. They went 4 church one day and d pastor was preaching about Joy. PASTOR; May Joy be ur portion in d name of Jesus. CONGREGATION; Amen! PASTOR; I pray ur Joy will be permanent in d name of Jesus. CONGREGATION; Ameeeeen!!!
PASTOR; I want a louder amen for this, I pray may Joy sleep with u tonight in d name of Jesus. CONGREGATION; A...(Johnny interrupts)Shut up everybody, my Joy will no go sleep with you ooo.

POLICE NS AKPORS

Police: where do you live?
Akpos: with my parents!
Police: where do your parents live?
Akpos: with me!
Police: where do you all live?
Akpos: together!
Police: where is your house?
Akpos: next to my neighbors house!
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Akpos: if I tell you, you won't believe me!
Police: tell me?
Akpos: next to my house!

TEACHER CALL IT CHEATING,WE CALL IT TEAM WORK

EVEN IF THE CONDITION ARE NOT FAVOURED,BEER WILL REMAIN A DELICACY