Sunday, February 19, 2012


Customer : My wife needs a bra but, I don't know the size.

Sales girl : Touch my breast and try to calculate.

Customer : Oh ! I forgot she needs panties too....


Dear Sir
I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company and wish to apply for the replacement of the dead manager.

Each time I apply for employment I am told there is no vacancy but on this one, I have caught you red handed coz I even attended the funeral and all
burial proceedings and made sure that he was truly dead before applying.

I can remember you saying on the funeral that it will be very difficult to replace, meaning there is no one at the moment.

Well it's your lucky day sir; you already have found the best man for the job so look no more.

It is sad but strategic though, that he has left us, at least now I stand to benefit as he has left a vacancy for me.

For that I shall forever be grateful for his timely death. He too always spoke of early retirement and I guess this serves him well too.
A deal that benefits all should be the substance of a fine businessman. Ironic, yes but death is truly very fair. Just imagine, the company no longer has to pay his
retirement funds. The company will not have to worry about paying me a relocation allowance because he was my neighbor and it will be easy for me to
simply jump over the Dura wall into that beautiful big company house. I also took it into my hands to quickly buy a drivers' licence as I am sure the Toyota 4x4 will also be handed over to me.
And sir,don't even try to cheat me on this one because I even know the mileage reading on that beautiful machine. This just goes on to prove that I am a determined self starter who is attentive to detail. Amiable qualities that speak for themselves.

I am sure that after reading this, there won't be any need for a CV, just verification if I am up for the challenge. For that sir, I will be
sending my pictures taken whilst attending the funeral and burial so that you can see how tough I was and can be when employed. As for my referees,
well the same dead manager was my referee so we can safely skip that part.

I only hope there will be no corruption as we are all still mourning.
Thanks for advertising at the funeral because I could not have known
Yours ever smiling even in tough times.

Monday, February 6, 2012


An 80yr old man says to his doctor: My 28yr old wife is pregnant, what's your opinion doctor Doctor: let me tell you a story, a hunter in a hurry grabs an umbrella instead of the gun. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle and Bang.......... The Lion drops dead! Old man: That's impossible, someone else must have shot the lion. Doctor: MY POINT EXACTLY!!!



A boy went to the gym and ask the coacher
BOY: hey i want to impress a girl and i will meet her after 3 days which machine should I use?
COACHER: use the ATM machine outside..!